And for the first time in nearly 18 months, I realized something this morning: the fog has lifted.

There’s no clean date. No moment I can point to. Just the gradual return of energy. Hope. The capacity to look around at the life we’re still building, post-amputation, and feel something other than survival.

Though survival was real. And survival was the work.

I almost wrote this post the way you’re supposed to write birthday posts. Gratitude list. Highlights. Lessons learned in a tidy, shareable format.

I couldn’t.

Not because there’s nothing to be grateful for... there’s plenty. But because the truest thing I can say about this year is that I cannot point to highlights. The shock of Kevin’s amputation wore off. Reality settled in. And we kept walking.

That’s not a milestone. That’s not content.

But it’s the whole story.

Here’s what I didn’t expect: I have more uncertainty than I’ve ever had in my life. About what’s next. About the vision I’m building. About what the coming year will require of us.

And I have more peace than I’ve ever had.

Both. At the same time. Not in spite of each other... because of each other.

The peace isn’t from having it figured out. It’s from finally accepting that I don’t have to.

Because God has been in this. Not on the sidelines. Not as comfort I reach for when things get hard. In it. He’s been the operating system underneath every step of this season... and the closer I get to the end of this chapter, the more I can see His fingerprints on parts I didn’t recognize at the time.

He keeps reassuring me. Quietly. Persistently. Not with promises that everything will be easy. With something deeper. “I’ve got this. Keep going.”

That’s it. That’s the whole message. And somehow it’s enough.

Here’s what nobody warned me about: a hard season doesn’t just test your faith. It transforms it.

My prayers don’t sound the way they used to. They’re shorter. Stripped down. More honest. There’s less of me trying to convince God of something, and more of me actually listening. I argue less. I sit longer. And when the Holy Spirit speaks, I recognize the voice faster than I ever have.

My discernment is sharper. Not because I’m spiritually more advanced. Because I had to use it. Daily. In real decisions with real weight. I used to second-guess what I already knew. Now I move on it. That’s the difference 18 months of trial will make.

My faith hasn’t just held me through this season. It’s grown me inside of it.

That’s the gift I didn’t ask for. The one I wouldn’t trade now that I have it.

My ADHD still does what it does. The overthinking loop. The second-guessing. The overwhelm that crashes in when I’m finally still enough to feel it. It’s better than it’s been. But it’s not broken. I still have moments where I genuinely wonder if I’ll be crushed under the weight of everything.

And then I’m not. Because He’s there. Every time.

That’s the part nobody talks about. The strength isn’t dramatic. It’s not a triumph moment. It’s just the next breath. The next step. The next day where you wake up and realize you’re still here... and so is He.

(Yes, I realize I’m writing a piece about not having a highlight reel and effectively making it a highlight. I get the irony.)

Here’s what I’m taking into this next year:

A new vision. One that genuinely delights me. I’ll share more of it as it unfolds, but I’ll say this much: it’s built on what this season taught me, not what it took from me. And every piece of it has God’s fingerprints on it... because I’m not building it alone, and I’m not building it from striving anymore.

More confidence to show up as the gift. Birthdays come with the expectation of receiving. I want to be received in a different way... through presence, service, the way I move through rooms. (I’m not turning down actual gifts, let’s be clear about that.)

And the willingness to keep walking when I can’t see the path. Because that’s what this year proved God and I can do together.

Here’s what hit me as I was writing this.

We treat birthdays like the one day we’re supposed to receive. Set apart. Special. Marked.

But God doesn’t work on a calendar.

The gifts He’s given me through this season... peace I didn’t earn. Discernment I didn’t have before. A faith that’s been refined instead of broken. A vision that genuinely delights me. A Him who shows up every single time I’m about to crumble under the weight.

None of those arrived today.

He’s been handing them to me every day of this season. I just finally have the stillness to see them.

That’s the real gift of this birthday. Not that today is special. That every day already was.

I just couldn’t see it through the fog.

Now here’s the part where I ask for something:

Because what’s coming in this next chapter... I want you here for it. The vision I’m building from - the vision God gave me. The work I’m doing. The way God is partnering with me & moving through all of it. You’re going to want to be in the room.

If you’re in your own fog right now due to a challenging season... I want you to hear this:

The fog lifts. Not all at once. Not because you forced it. Because you kept walking when you couldn’t see. Because God was already on the other side of it before you arrived.

You don’t have to point to a highlight to prove you’re alive. You don’t have to perform recovery to deserve to keep going. You just have to take the next breath... and trust the One who gave it to you.

That’s the work. That’s the whole work. And it counts.

Happy birthday to me. And to anyone reading this who is still here against the odds... happy you’re still here, too.

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I’m switching up this publication a bit. I am ignoring what the “pro’s” say and doing things my own way… with the Holy Spirit leading, of course! More on that next time!

What’s Ahead:

Why I Deleted my Paid Tier in Substack?

What I Stopped Doing the Day I Actually Started Hearing God

The image below is my own paraphrase of the last two verses. I invite you to look up the verse in your preferred version. In my personal study, I loved the way The Mirror App expressed this and of course TPT. The Message offers that Jesus informs Martha that the main course isn’t what she’s serving.

Many of us are familiar with these verses. When I did a little bit more indepth word study of this verse, I realized that Martha wasn’t just distracted by her tasks; but her distraction and anxiety over all that had to be done. Did she have ADHD, by chance? Was she a control freak down to every last detail. Jesus and his disciples were in the home at Martha’s invitation. I wonder in today’s vernacular if Jesus would have reminded her, “Girl! You did this to yourself!” haha

I am a natural Mary. I always have been. I love to sit at the feet of Jesus in prayer, Scripture, journaling, etc. I also love to teach others to do it; as well as do it collectively with people I trust. This is normally easy for me to do and leave tasks and chores undone for a little while. However, the one thing that I realized is how uncomfortable I am in Martha energy. Normally, that’s not so much getting tasks done, but the ADHD distraction or when my anxiety gets the best of me and I haven’t been able to shift into my natural Mary state - and have a deep need for more intentional Mary moments. And sometimes, I struggle with making that shift because the anxiety / overwhelm is just too much.

So, I created a cadence (as I call it) that helps me make that shift. I will share it in my masterclass at the end of this month.

Do you have something intentional that you do to shift into Mary moments of stillness in the Presence of God? I’d love to hear what you do.

During the last week of this month, my masterclass will drop for my paid tier subscribers. It’s called Mary & Martha: Discernment, Capacity & Order for the Soul. I’d love to have you in the audience. There are two ways you can do that. You can upgrade your subscription to paid tier right here. Then, you’ll be set. It will drop right in your inbox the last week in January.

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Or, you can get it in my store if you don’t want to subscribe here. The class will drop on my store the first week of February; but you can pre-order it today. The Price will go up by $10 once it drops.

I recommend subscribing here… I now have a masterclass the last week every month: it’s cheaper and paid tier subscribers get early access to the class each month.

I don’t require things like:

• Showing up Live on my schedule: I honor the fact that you have your own life & schedule.

• Having a camera on: I hope you will come as you are comfortable. Pj’s? Great! Nothing on? Hey no one needs to know that!

• Mandatory participation / Random calling on people: I honor those who are like me that just hate that kind of crap.

• Breakout rooms! So, you can breathe easy: No rooms where you feel pressured to talk or actually may have something to say - but there’s always that one person that manipulates the entire room for the entire time. We don’t do that here.

2026 is going to look a lot different around here.

On Wednesdays, the weekly reading plan will drop for the Sacred Scripture Reading Plan: The Bible in 3 Years for paid tier subscribers. You see “Read the Bible in a Year” plans a lot this time of year. However, how many of them are set up for failure? Life happens and you miss a daily reading or two or three and then it takes forever to catch up and about the same time every year you give up. So, you have Genesis, Exodus memorized. Leviticus is so tedious and mind-numbing it derails many of us anyway.

The Bible was not meant to read as a rigid daily series of assignments over a year or create anxiety or a check list of must do. That robs the joy right out from under the you. How many of us actually enjoyed reading when we were forced to read books assigned to us in school?

So, I developed a weekly reading plan… you work it into your week on your schedule as you can and it’s at a slower, more doable pace; it offers grace and is completely forgiving if you don’t read from the plan daily. This allows for a deeper, slower, more intentional, unhurried experience.

Now, there’s also another experience I offer my paid tier subscribers this year. April, June, September, & November: The Bible Sprints. Read the Bible in 30 Days. There are assigned daily reading plans just because it’s necessary to help keep on track. If you’ve never done this before, it can be life-changing, transforming. It’s a very powerful read when you do it in 30 days. So, I hope you’ll join us for one of those.

I do offer daily verse for all of my followers / readers - and you can choose which verse which day if you want to. I only post Monday thru Friday so from my social media / Substack notes posts - you will likely only see 20ish of them. But this gentle cadence keeps you in Scripture daily. But you get the entire month of verses the first full week of each month. Find January’s above. Be sure to catch the daily verses by following me on Facebook or on Instagram. And stay tuned, because I am rolling out more this month. Next week, I will have more opportunities to meet God in Scripture, prayer, etc.

Another offer for my paid tier subscribers in 2026 are the pre-recorded SoulScript Sessions. I may offer a live one once a quarter if there is enough reason. The monthly SoulScript sessions will be around the topic for the month. However, though the sessions are pre-recorded, they provide a very individualistic experience for each person who sits through one.

And as always, if you’d like a 1:1 SoulScript session live with me or a pdf/audio file version created just for you, you can do that here.

I will also have a monthly private audio for paid tier members; plus other surprises like journals / worksheets, coupons for discounts for offerings in my store. So, if you haven’t upgraded to the paid tier yet, what are you waiting for?

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What you will find from me in 2026 is leading with Scripture & partnering with the Holy Spirit for transformation of heart, mind, & soul. And if you crave a shift into more Mary moments - no matter what your natural energy type - in 2026, this is exactly the place for you to be - no matter to which tier you subscribe. I’m truly glad you are here.

May God bless you and keep you. May He shine His face upon you and bring you peace. May He be gracious as he goes ahead of you, behind you and works within you today and always.

Live Ignited for His Kingdom! ❤️‍🔥👑✝️

MelAnn

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I hope that you’ve had a very Merry Holiday Season. I’ve been through an incredible time of vision casing for 2026 in recent weeks following a very difficult season with my husband’s emergency amputation in February… as many of you know. My posts from that journey can be found HERE

After prayer and reflection and testing some ideas while discovering I am an otrovert (Seriously, I’ve never felt so seen and understood!).. I have made some decisions to streamline and simplify my life and business. I did update more on this a little bit on my About Page HERE

If you’re reading this, the best news is that I’m not going anywhere - and my focus is to expand right here on Substack. Instead of offering my membership on Skool as I had originally planned, I decided to offer a content subscription on Substack. This was an easy decision because I am done trying to build and facilitate communities. That is not something I will ever be good at & I accept that.

I build sanctuaries and hold sacred spaces. I don’t hustle. I don’t chase algorithms. I don’t chase after flame icons after my name by being active on a platform daily. I’m leaving META for that very reason. If nothing else became so evident this last year, it’s the fact that I have a life I love and enjoy off of these platforms - and if I have to be constantly active to get that cherished visibility, I’m choosing to walk away from it. I was all-in with Skool until I discovered the elitist mentality around flames and stars after your name etc. And how limited the hobbyist level was. No discoverability. They take 10% plus Stripe Fees. Well, I can save $9 a month and let Substack take the 10% + Stripe fees! Haha! I am all out of eye rolls for this type of nonsense. My energy and attention are too valuable for these stupid games - and my guess is, if you are in my world, so are yours.

In the last few weeks, God gave me SoulScript. What is SoulScript exactly? Well, that’s a good question and I am challenged to give you a concise, clear answer because it’s something that really needs to be experienced to be completely understood. However, when God gave this to me, I knew immediately: I was born for this!

Scripture is active, alive, breathing, and relevant today just as it’s always been. And if you struggle with this statement, then SoulScript is most definitely for you! However, when we only rely on Scripture, it can be problematic. Now, stick with me here because I always leave people really misunderstanding what I mean in my wake when I say this.

What is faith? A profound, undeniable belief in the unseen. So, why do we put our faith in black and white words on a page? The Bible is not the Word of God! John 1 tells us that is Jesus! And Jesus left us with the Gift of Holy Spirit to continue His work within us. It is Holy Spirit that guides us and activates the meaning of Scripture in our lives.

Ever have a verse mean one thing to you in one season in your life only to sometime later mean something completely different? If you are a legalist, that means one of those times has to be wrong - which time was it? Neither. Holy Spirit led you to the meaning and guidance each time. It wasn’t the Scripture. It was Spirit!

I also want to give you another brief example of why Bible-Worship (yes it’s idolatry when it becomes more important than God himself!) is problematic. I would link to this - but the losing preacher (who was a really sore loser) did everything he could to wipe all of the debate content from Youtube and I can’t find it. A year or two ago there was a debate between two preachers: round earth vs flat earth and the only evidence that could be used was the Bible. I predicted immediately who would win the debate and I was right. The flat earth argument clearly won the argument - he went first. And the losing preacher - you could tell by the look on his face, he knew he’d lost before he ever got the mic. Absurd, right?

With the exception of a few forward-thinking, gifted astronomers & educated Greeks & philosophers along the way, until Magellan’s voyage in the early 1500’s, there was no definitive proof that earth was indeed a sphere and not flat. So, common sense tells us that the people who actually wrote / assembled the Scripture we have today were “flat earthers” and wrote from such a perspective … including David whose writings and poetry and songs were used a lot by the flat-earther in his argument. We can scream “God-breathed” all day long - but the Bible we have today was written by and assembled by men… who are fallible because they are human.

The Breath of God is Spirit. So the God-breathed component is not the words on the page. It is what Holy Spirit says it means in our lives at that time. And unless we learn to go to Holy Spirit, ask, be still in Holy presence, listen, discern, affirm and act in obedience when required - we are missing out on the active, living & breathing part of Scripture that carries the power for true transformation in our lives and circumstances. This is what SoulScript does. This is my passion. Teaching others how to utilize it to the ultimate capacity for their own lives. Truly, the way to do that is through practice.

How often are we encouraged to do that in today’s culture? How many people even know how to do that - or confident in ability to do so? This has always been my strength. Stillness. Quiet. Discernment. I’ve often been told I’m a Mary in a Martha world.

Through the SoulScript subscription, I just want to offer a monthly opportunity for you to experience a guided session - even though it’s not specifically personalized for you - but linked to the month’s topic. I will also offer a monthly masterclass that helps support you on this journey of stillness, listening, discerning, etc. You can always sign up for a 1:1 personalized session at any time. There are no communities to join. There are no calls to join. The sessions are all pre-recorded and will drop here on Substack for you and you will receive an email notification. So no hustle, cameras-on, forced breakout room energy here. Just a content subscription to ensure your access each month. The subscription rate will go up from time to time as the library builds; however, to honor you as an early adopter, for as long as your subscription doesn’t lapse, you will remain at the rate you subscribed at. Just know that it will never be lower than it is today.

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To learn more about the differences between the Free / Membership Tier, you can go ——>

I’m done with social media & algorithm games for clout and influence. I just want to be me and do what God brought me here to do and be the person He created me to be without apology. And from what I’ve been seeing on YouTube lately, so many are also suffering from “Influencer Fatigue” and just want to connect with content of someone who’s real. And that’s me - I’m the real deal. No curation of content for algorithm gain or fame etc. No gamification.

Just heart & soul of who God created me to be doing what He created me & called me to do. I would truly be blessed to have you join me on this journey no matter what level you choose to join me at. I would love it if you shared what is meaningful to you with others as well. Always feel free to reach out if there is content you’d like to see or a topic you’d like me to cover. The best place to reach me is on fb messenger.

Live Ignited ❤️‍🔥

Melann

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This piece isn’t about technology, trends, or taking sides. It’s about boundaries, vulnerability, and the quiet difference between authenticity and entitlement. If you read with curiosity, you’ll find yourself here. If you read looking for something to argue with, this probably isn’t for you… and that’s okay.

I’m noticing two trends right now… and the contrast between them is telling:

On one side, people are having fun sharing their ChatGPT Christmas portraits. On the other, people are criticizing those posts, calling them creepy, fake, or inauthentic… often with a predictable side of moral panic and *conspiracy theories.

What’s interesting to me isn’t the technology; it’s the reaction.

Somewhere along the way, having fun online became a moral offense, and “authenticity” turned into a demand… a way to police how people show up, what they share, and how much access they owe strangers.

*I’m not here to address the conspiracy theories. People always jump there with technology they don’t understand or won’t take the time to research for themselves … they just regurgitate whatever fear-mongering they’ve absorbed to feel informed or included.

What I do want to address is the most common objection I’ve seen:

“It’s not authentic.”

(Which is especially ironic coming from people whose profile photos are professional headshots… hair styled, makeup done, lighting perfect, and yes… airbrushed. Let’s not pretend those are untouched slices of raw humanity.)

I’ve always said this:

If you want my authentic self… read me. Don’t look at me.

My outward appearance has never reflected who I know myself to be on the inside. That’s why I don’t do lives, coffee chats, or casual video calls. I’ll get on video if I trust you, if it’s the only way we can work together; or if you’re paying me … but, even then, I often suggest audio-only so we can focus on listening and hearing over reading too much into visual cues.

That doesn’t come from fear. It comes from experience. I’ve learned some very hard lessons about vulnerability and authenticity. Not everyone deserves your vulnerability

.

And that includes the demand to show up bare-faced, unfiltered, or exposed for the consumption of strangers on the internet… strangers who love to make assumptions about you based on your appearance.

I’ve written extensively about this before in The Unapologetic Matrix Self, and I’ve linked it again so you can read it. Keep reading this current piece below.

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What I’ve learned since writing that piece is this: People no longer automatically get my vulnerability.

I am authentic… but authenticity is not the same as open-book exposure. I no longer offer unrestricted vulnerability to everyone. Not because I’m afraid, but because it’s irresponsible to do so. It’s self-protection; it’s preservation… of dignity, if nothing else.

The fact that people are publicly criticizing others for having fun with a ChatGPT prompt proves my point. This comes on the heels of people criticizing others for posting photos of their Thanksgiving food.

Can we just… stop?

(Yes, I realize I’m criticizing the critics. I get the irony.)

I posted a photo of my Thanksgiving plate with a joke about carbs… purely to make people laugh.. and got roasted for posting food. Whatever. I genuinely feel sorry for people whose mission seems to be robbing joy from others over what they choose to share on their own profiles or blogs.

“You use too many words.”

It’s a blog post. I’m a writer. This is not a 150-character caption. If reading annoys you, there are platforms like X built for that. You won’t find me there, I promise.

So yes… this is my blog. & I’m going to share the fun I had with ChatGPT.

The ChatGPT fun is not people trying to trick you. They admit they tried the ChatGPG prompt or jumped on the bandwagon and don’t intend for others to take it seriously…. but there are those who do this crap:

Which brings me to vulnerability.

When Kevin experienced his emergency amputation on February 11, our household income disappeared overnight. I shared parts of that journey publicly. We had emergency savings… they ran out in May. Many people watched. Some commented. Some expressed sympathy. Most were silent. (The same happened when my dad died and when my brother died.)

But the people who actually showed up? Family. Close friends who have known me since college. One friend we didn’t even meet in college, but shared mutual friends from that season and reconnected later.

The fundraiser we attempted? No one outside that close circle stepped forward.

There’s a quote from a favorite movie about how people will come running to watch you burn, watch you struggle, watch you squirm and suffer - but not to help; just to witness the suffering to make themselves feel better about their own lives. We learned that the hard way.

And yet.. it is a profound gift to learn who truly shows up. Who checks in. Who prays and follows up. Who helps quietly, without performance. I learned this when my dad died, when my brother died, and again this past year with Kevin’s amputation.

My number one need is safety and security. When that was ripped out from under us this year, I have never felt more vulnerable. And when I expressed need publicly, I received messages from people who were not invested in our well-being at all:

“Get a job.”

“Get over it.”

“Quit asking for help.”

“There are tons of resources if you’d just look.”

(As if we hadn’t already looked. As if they knew our reality better than we did.)

I noticed something else too. When I expressed a need for my pets.. ie pet food .. that need was met quickly. I’ve seen GoFundMe campaigns for missionaries traveling to help strangers in other countries, meal trains, and medical crises fill up almost instantly for others.

No one did that for us. I had to get pretty vulnerable and set that up on my own.

Kevin’s family were the only ones to visit him in the hospital, aside from my mom, one coworker, and 3 people from a church we left years ago after my brother died. A young woman… the daughter of a close friend… helped me with my hair without charging me. A few friends Venmo’d me money so I could eat while sitting in the hospital for days. A business coach/mentor offered her program to me she knew I was interested in for free. She has also got on two calls with me as I’ve been planning for my own business growth in 2026.

Being vulnerable to everyone left us feeling more alone than we’ve ever felt. This experience also gave me a deep compassion for people whose safety nets disappear … or who can’t afford insurance. I honestly cannot imagine walking this journey without it… and that is exactly where I’m headed after this month.

Now, I reach out only to people I know care. Not everyone deserves access to our story. Someone knew our Christmas tree was bare underneath when I shared my finished tree and quietly sent money for gifts for my kids. Speaking of - here is a video I took…

That is humanity.

The general public does not deserve unlimited vulnerability. The cost is too high. Society has forgotten how to be human… how to be kind, present, and compassionate.

We lost my cousin James this week. His memorial spoke about how he showed up for people… dropped everything, was present, cared deeply. That kind of humanity is rare. The world lost a gem when we lost James.

So yes… I’ll keep letting AI airbrush my photos that I do my best to keep them looking like me. I’ll continue refusing random video chats. I’ll keep my camera off on Zoom. I’ll leave any meeting the moment breakout rooms are mentioned. Strangers assigned by Zoom do not deserve my vulnerability. They have done nothing to earn my trust. I will also continue unfollowing people who criticize others for what they post that brings them joy.

How do you earn my trust?

• Message me.

• Engage thoughtfully.

• Share what resonates.

• Demonstrate care… not entitlement.

• What you read in my writing is me.

Even then, I’m often misunderstood because people project, skim, or filter through their own agendas. Even if I have AI help me organize my thoughts / structure so it’s easier for you to read… I do not let it strip my writing of me. And I edit the results when it’s done organizing my thoughts and structure.

So please… stop trying to rob people of their joy. Stop messaging and kicking them when they are down. Unless you’ve been in their exact situation, stop telling them where to find resources to make yourself feel better about not helping. (Just don’t help and be silent.) Stop criticizing others for what they share on their own profiles. Or spot an em dash and accuse them of being inauthentic just because you assume they clearly use AI to write their stuff due to an em dash making an appearance. (Some weird people actually use those things and you would be wrong to assume that about them just because of their use of a punctuation character!) Yes, your tribe of “yes people” may applaud you & chime in as if to gang up on some imaginary opponent… but this mean girl gang mentality doesn’t make you righteous. It just makes you smaller & appear that you never outgrew the 7th grade girl drama. It’s not a good look for you!

I’ll keep showing up the way I know how… through words, meaning, and intention… and I’ll keep protecting what is sacred to me. I don’t need anyone’s permission to do so.

If you want to know me, read what I write. If you want access, earn trust.

And, for the love of all that is human and kind, if someone else is enjoying a harmless moment of creativity or fun online, maybe the most human response is simply to let them have it.

Vulnerability is sacred. Trust is earned. Presence still matters.

Let’s stop confusing authenticity with entitlement… and let people keep their joy.

Live Ignited!

MelAnn

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I’d like to take the time to thank those who have shown up. I hope I didn’t miss anyone. Apologies if I did: God. My mom. My cousin Tana. Kari. Angela. Susan. Kenton. Karen. Matt. Dick & Jane. Jay & Michelle. The DeLuna family. Kim. Cynthia, Kip & Vincent. Raelynn. The Harris family. Wendy. Misty. Kelly. Vonia. April. Jen. Brad. Sherry. Kimberly. Gayle. Kerri. Sandra. Melodee. Krystal, Rhonda. Thank you for the prayers, groceries, gift cards, financial support, support, genuinely reaching out, etc.

If you’re new here, you can see parts of our story in the blog posts shared below:

If you’d like to offer some financial support for our gap month between resources running out and medical retirement processed and beginning, you can do that in your choice of ways.

One is by grabbing the Mini-SoulScript Session which is Free/Pay What You Want - and you can donate by paying what you want there. Or you can directly Venmo me. Or you can subscribe to and support this publication.

Mini SoulScript Session

Matthew 2:1, 2 TPT

“After Jesus’ birth a group of spiritual priests from the East came to Jerusalem and inquired of the people, “Where is the child who is born king of the Jewish people? We observed his star rising in the sky and we’ve come to bow before Him in worship.”

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Israel had Scripture. The Magi had a star. Guess who recognized Him? And the strangers inadvertently ended up in Jerusalem looking in the expected place (rather than the unexpected one) and tipping off a very concerned Herod about a new king of the Jewish people. And Herod had to call in priests and religious scholars to ask about the prophecies of the Messiah. The foreigners continued on to Bethlehem bearing gifts. Herod, instead, plots His death.

Sometimes outsiders see God more clearly than insiders because they aren’t blinded by familiarity or tradition. . . or personal bias or agendas.

God is still using unexpected signs to get our attention… in nature, in silence, in conversations we weren’t planning to have. However, that unexpected star in our view is exactly what was going to get the attention of the foreigners. These wealthy foreigners from the East were astrologers, dream interpreters. Magi - spiritual advisors / priests - were from Persia - so they were Gentiles, not even Jews!

But if anyone was going to notice that star and know what it was, it was these wise men. God may send you signs only designed for you - that you know are signs from God - but not recognized as such by someone else.

🔍 Where might God be speaking in a way that doesn’t fit your usual categories?

Don’t limit how God can lead you. He still draws seekers with unexpected stars.

May God bless you this evening and always. Live ignited!

MelAnn

🙏 Father, remove my spiritual filters. Help me recognize Your voice in every form You choose.

Please like, comment, save, share this … it would mean a lot. I love doing this devotional. I also have another gift for you. I am launching a membership called SoulScript and one of the anchors of the membership is a live SoulScript session bi-weekly. So, since no one likely knows what a SoulScript session is, I have a self-guided mini-SoulScript session that is FREE / Pay What You Want (seriously, if you want it for free, then take it for free!)

Mini SoulScript Session

Luke 2:8–12 TPT

That night, in a field near Bethlehem, there were shepherds watching over their flocks. Suddenly, an angel of the Lord appeared in radiant splendor before them, lighting up the field with the blazing glory of God, and the shepherds were terrified! But the angel reassured them, saying, “Don’t be afraid. For I have come to bring you good news, the most joyous news the world has ever heard! And it is for everyone everywhere! For today in Bethlehem a rescuer was born for you. He is the Lord Yahweh, the Messiah. You will recognize him by this miracle sign: You will find a baby wrapped in strips of cloth and lying in a feeding trough!”

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Picture this for a moment, will you? You’re a shepherd near the town of Bethlehem. And this amazing event happens: A celestial being - an angel appears to you in all of his splendor & glory with this incredible message and he says that he comes with this miracle sign… What would you be expecting with that phrase “miracle sign”? Surely not the words that immediately followed: You will find a baby wrapped in strips of cloth and lying in a feeding trough!

Shepherds were unclean, overlooked, underpaid, and socially dismissed… Exactly the demographic Jesus prefers. God has always delighted in flipping the script; choosing the ones religion dismisses and giving them front-row seats. If you feel unseen, you’re in the right place for revelation.

Heaven comes close to the overlooked. You’re not an afterthought… you’re the first God sends messengers to when He’s got good news! Maybe not via angels like the ones we read about in the Bible (maybe that is a good thing - they seem to be quite scary!)… But we are the ones He trusts with His message.

Ask God to reveal to you what message He brings to you in the fields this Christmas season. Then ask Him what you are to do with it.

Until tomorrow, Live Ignited!

MelAnn

🔍 Are you assuming God will show up in the polished places… and missing Him in the ordinary ones?

Another gift for you - FREE / pay what you want - this is a beautiful visualization with reflection sheet to go along with it. Enjoy!

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God could’ve edited the story. He could’ve cleaned up the line, polished the bloodline, made the Messiah come through a “respectable” family. Something the Royal Family would be proud of.

But… He didn’t.

Why? Because Jesus came to redeem what we hide. If God isn’t embarrassed by your story, why are you? Why do we suffer from things like comparisonitis? Imposter syndrome? Not enough-ness? Perfectionism?

An even deeper question, why do we have the audacity to believe that we could even have it within our power to mess up God’s plan?

🔍 Where are you still trying to “pretty up” what God is actually trying to redeem?

Your past isn’t a liability; it’s an invitation to redemption. It is a tool that God wants you to use in His plan / calling on your life. With God, your pain is never in vain. We can be devastated and incapacitated by all the ways we have fallen short & disappointed God… or we can use it… better yet… let God use it for His Glory!

MelAnn

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Micah 5:2,3 MSG

“But you, Bethlehem, David’s country, the runt of the litter - From you will come the leader who will shepherd-rule Israel. He’ll be no upstart, no pretender. His family tree is ancient and distinguished.”

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God doesn’t choose places based on prestige… He chooses them based on purpose. Bethlehem teaches us:

Your small places are not disqualifiers. They are incubators. That part of your life you’re tempted to hide? The “nothing good can come from here” part? That might be the exact ground where heaven is planning its next arrival.

That small town upbringing I had? It counts. My little corner of the Internet with a few subscribers and the occasional view or like on social media? It matters. My solo podcast & membership I’m about to launch? Even if it’s to just crickets - as long as it is part of God’s plan, it’s enough. It’s significant.

Look for that North Star, so to speak. What is God shining a light on in your life that you tend to brush off as insignificant? Consider what the God-sized possibilities are that could be done with it? We don’t have to know God’s entire plan in order to be obedient in doing our own part in it.

‘Small’ is only vilified by comparisonitis or imposter syndrome. However, small doesn’t mean empty: Small often means… chosen.

Live Ignited ❤️‍🔥

MelAnn

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🔍 What “small” area of your life might be carrying a promise bigger than you realize?

🙏 God, redeem the places in me that feel insignificant. Turn my Bethlehem into a birthplace of Your glory.

I am the co-host (along with Sherry McClurkin) of a brand new podcast Unscripted, Unashamed- the trailer is up! We would love it if you would subscribe to it - the first 4-6 episodes will be dropping this week!

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Luke 24:27 TPT

Then He carefully unveiled to them the revelation of Himself throughout the Scripture. He started from the beginning and explained the writings of Moses and all the prophets, showing how they wrote of him and revealed the Truth about himself.

The irony here is that the prophecy was never vague. The problem wasn’t clarity… It was expectation. We still repeat this pattern. We beg God for clarity, meanwhile ignoring the clarity we already have.

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I wanted to try and keep my part in the devotional short today because I want you to explore the context of Luke 24:27 - explore as many verses surrounding this verse as you feel led by Holy Spirit to meditate upon. I love how they responded to Jesus even in their hearts as well as their hospitality before they recognized who He was. How does Luke 24 land with you in your life right now?

🔍 Where has God been speaking consistently, but you’ve been waiting for a different delivery method?

🔍 Where are you asking for clarity while the answer you see is according to your own expectation - not the answer God has for you?

I hope this has truly blessed you today. I hope you will explore any of the previous days you’ve missed - find those links below. Remember: You are not in the dark. The prophecy is already alive in your story.

May the Lord bless you and protect you, and show you mercy and kindness. May the Lord be good to you and give you peace.

❤️‍🔥Live Ignited!

MelAnn

Prayer: Jesus, remove the blinders I didn’t realize I was wearing. Help me recognize Your voice in the places I’ve overlooked.

Matthew 1:19–20 TPT

“Her fiancé, Joseph, was a righteous man full of integrity and he didn’t want to disgrace her, but when he learned of her pregnancy he secretly planned to break the engagement. While he was still debating with himself about what to do, he fell asleep and had a supernatural dream. An angel from the Lord appeared to him in clear light and said, “Joseph, descendant of David, don’t hesitate to take Mary into your home as your wife, because the power of the Holy Spirit has conceived a child in her womb.”

If you missed Day 2 - Check it out here:

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📓 “After the Dream”

I didn’t expect to wake up with tears in my eyes. Last night’s dream wasn’t like the others. It wasn’t the usual tangle of thoughts from a long day in the workshop.

This… this was different.

I saw him… radiant, unmistakably from God… standing in the doorway of my sleep, speaking clarity into the chaos that’s been tightening around my chest since Mary told me she was pregnant… Pregnant. By the Holy Spirit, she said. I wanted to believe her, but belief felt like trying to hold water in my hands. I’ve replayed her words over and over. Her eyes didn’t lie… But my world did crack.

Before last night, I had made my decision: I would end the betrothal quietly. Not because I stopped loving her… God knows I haven’t… But because it felt like the only way to protect her honor and salvage what little dignity I had left.

But then the dream…

“Joseph, descendant of David, don’t hesitate to take Mary into your home as your wife.”

Not afraid? I’ve never felt fear like this. Not of her… but of stepping into a story I don’t understand. A child not conceived by me. A future I cannot predict. A plan I never asked for.

Yet when the angel spoke, something entered me… a courage I didn’t summon. A peace I can’t explain. A certainty that didn’t come from logic, but from the God of our fathers.

Suddenly everything made sense… and nothing made sense… all at the same time.

Mary wasn’t unfaithful. She was chosen. And somehow, so was I. Chosen to raise a child who isn’t mine, Chosen to carry a responsibility I don’t feel qualified for, Chosen to love a woman carrying a promise larger than either of us.

I still have questions. More than I can count:

• How will we tell our families?

• What will the village think when Mary begins to show?

• Will they believe the truth?

• Will they mock us?

• Will they threaten us?

But I know this: I’d rather walk into uncertainty with God than stay in a certainty without Him.

So today, I will do what the angel commanded. I will take Mary as my wife. I will guard her. I will shield her. I will trust the God who entrusted this child to us. I don’t need all the answers. I just need His presence… and He gave me that in the dream.

So here I am: A carpenter with trembling hands, chosen to raise the Messiah.

Lord, give me strength for this calling. Give me wisdom beyond my years. Give me courage when doubt whispers loud. And remind me, when fear tries to take hold, that You saw something in me I couldn’t see in myself.

Joseph

🪞Reflection:

Joseph obeys God in a direction that makes zero sense on paper. No spotlight. No platform. Just a quiet yes that altered the entire story of redemption. Some of God’s greatest assignments come disguised as inconveniences.

🔍 Where is God asking you to obey quietly, without applause or clarity?

🙏 Prayer:

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Product Highlights

Prophecy

Isaiah 7:14 TPT

“…Behold - the virgin will conceive and give birth to a son and will name him God Among Us.”

Fulfilled

Luke 1: 28-31, 34, 35 The Mirror

Entering the house, he stood in front of her and greeted her with a most joyful salute! Heavenly bliss in its most bountiful extreme is yours! The extravagant favor of God infuses you with grace! She was deeply perplexed and reasoned within herself. Realizing the massive significance of this salutation! The Messenger spoke to her and immediately reassured her to have no fear - God is head over heels in love with you! This is your moment to discover how favored you have always been! For behold, you will be mystically captured in your womb and conceive and bear a son. And you shall name him Jesus! The Lord is with you! And Mary asked the Messenger, “So how can this be possible while I am still a virgin?” And he said to her, “Holy Spirit will overwhelm you - hovering over you in the power of the Most High. Therefore, this holy begotten one will be called, Son of God!”

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📓After the angel left…

I don’t even know how to put pen to parchment tonight. My hands are still trembling from what I saw… what I heard… what I’ve agreed to.

I keep replaying his greeting … “Extravagant favor of God infuses you with grace!.”

Favor? Extravagant favor?

It didn’t feel like favor. It felt like my whole life came undone in a quiet room where no one will ever know what it took for me to say yes.

I wish I could say I felt brave in the moment. I didn’t. I was surprised to hear myself respond with excitement and affirmation. It wasn’t out of duty - I really meant it.

And then…

My thoughts scattered like startled birds: What will Joseph think? What will the town whisper? What will my parents say? How do I raise the Son of God when I barely feel like a woman myself?

It’s strange how quickly fear can wrap itself around a word from heaven.

But then… somewhere beneath the shaking, beneath the questions, beneath the pounding of my own heart… I felt something rise.

Not certainty.

Not clarity.

Just… presence.

A knowing that wasn’t mine. It was as if God Himself whispered, “I am already in this with you.” And suddenly my fear didn’t feel like failure. It felt like the doorway to faith. If I’m honest, I still don’t understand any of this.

A virgin mother? The Holy Spirit overshadowing me? Carrying the Messiah in a body that still feels like it belongs to childhood?

I don’t have answers.

But I have peace… a strange, steady, unexpected peace that arrived the moment I said the words I didn’t know I had in me:

“May everything you have told me come to pass.”

Not because I felt ready. Not because I felt worthy. But because I felt Him. Tonight I realize something: Obedience isn’t about understanding. It’s about trusting the One who understands everything.

I still feel the weight of what’s ahead. I still feel the eyes that will look at me differently when my belly begins to grow. But if God chose me… the quiet, ordinary girl from Nazareth… then He must have woven strength into me long before I ever knew I’d need it.

So here I am… your servant, Lord. Trembling, but willing. Afraid, but available. Human, but held. If this is the doorway to Your promise, then let me carry it with reverence. And may every fear I feel be met with Your presence again tomorrow.

Your willing vessel,

Mary

🪞Reflection:

God entrusted His greatest promise to someone society wouldn’t have chosen. Circumstances screamed scandal. . . or at the very least.. Raised eyebrows and accusatory whispers.

He still does this. Mary wasn’t chosen because she was polished… But… because she was willing. Heaven chooses the humble. And your yes is louder than your résumé.

❤️‍🔥 Live Ignited!

MelAnn

For your reflection:

🔍What might God birth through you… not because you’re prepared, but because you are available?

🔍What if the thing you feel unqualified for is the very space where God wants to place His glory?

🙏 Prayer:

Below the images link to the introductory, day 1 devotionals of this series and the top image links to my store. The sassy elf Joy has taken over my store and run some sales - she kicked the turkeys who had taken over out. There are also some free things available there as well. Your likes, comments, saves, shares, etc of this post are truly helpful. So, if this writing today touched you, please share it with your friends, family, social media, etc. I am also opening up my Skool group this week - you can join for free here.

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Micah 5:2 MSG But you, Bethlehem, the runt of the litter - from you will come the leader who will shepherd-rule Israel. He’ll be no upstart, no pretender. His family tree is ancient and distinguished.

Fulfillment

Luke 2:6, 7 TPT When they arrived in Bethlehem, Mary went into labor, and there she gave birth to her firstborn son. After wrapping the newborn baby in strips of cloth, they laid him in a feeding trough since there was no available space in any upper room in the village.

Can you sit and imagine this for a minute… this living nativity scene? The OG of nativity scenes that decorate homes and lawns and church pageants… Heaven’s royalty wrapped in rags and placed in something that the animals ate from?

Not something any of us would expect from a king, is it? Certainly not one with a distinguished family tree!

Sometimes God’s biggest answers arrive in the most unglamorous packaging. Not because He’s hiding… but because He’s revealing something we don’t even know to look for yet. We haven’t recognized the signs nor connected the dots to lead us to that aha moment yet.

What if the place in your life that feels ‘beneath” your calling is actually where your royalty-ship is being forged? What if your higher calling actually starts as your lower calling?

What if that place we’d prefer to just overlook altogether is actually where God is delivering the next chapter of your breakthrough?

God isn’t gone. He hasn’t abandoned you. You just aren’t looking in the mangers of your life.

Live ignited!

MelAnn

Prayer

Dear Lord,

Please help me loosen my grip on what I thought you would / want you to do. Open my eyes to the way You’re moving right now… quietly, humbly… unexpectedly.

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Israel wasn’t wrong to expect a King. They just didn’t expect a King who looked nothing like power. No jeweled crown. No royal entourage or army. No glory, pomp or parades or trumpeted announcements.

Yet… every detail of Jesus’ coming was foretold:

• Born of a virgin (Prophecy: Is 7:14 Fulfilled: Mt 1:22, 23, Luke 1:26-35)

• Born in Bethlehem (Prophecy Micah 5:2 Fulfilled Mt 2:1, Luke 2:4-7)

• Out of Egypt He would be called (Prophecy Hosea 11:1, Fulfilled Mt 2:14-15)

• Light to the Gentiles (Prophecy Is 42:6, 49:6 Fulfilled Luke 2: 30-32, Acts 13:47, John 8:12)

• Government on His shoulders (Prophecy Is 9:6, Fulfillment Luke 1:32,33, Mt 28:18, Rev 19:16)

The signs were all there. They had every reason to see Him. But their own expectations narrowed their vision.

And honestly?

That’s where so many of us get stuck even still today. We pray for rescues and miracles… and then we completely miss them when they arrive because they come in an unexpected form… whether they are softer, gentler, humbler, quieter, wilder, less convenient, unconventional than we imagined. Or maybe we have God wrapped neatly in a box tied up with a bow that when we encounter the rescue, we think, “That just doesn’t look like something God will do.” This may be something you also feel in your bones. I know I’ve struggled with this recently:

“God, I know you’re moving… but I didn’t expect it to look like this.”

And… this all isn’t just unexpected, it’s often uncomfortable and even… offensive!

• A Messiah born in scandalous circumstance (by outward appearances anyway)

• A King who came through the womb of a teenage girl?

• A Deliverer born in an animal trough?

• A Savior raised in an obscure, “can-anything-good-come-from-there” town

• A God who spent 30 quiet years doing… pretty much nothing… impressive, much less King-like.

If we are honest with ourselves, we still resist God’s unexpected ways because they are inconvenient to our timelines, preferences, reputations, and comfort zones. God is and has always been predictable in His character - it’s just His methods that are unexpected.

He always:

• Chooses the overlooked

• Uses the lowly

• Disrupts the powerful

• Redeems the messy

• Rescues through weakness

So His “unexpected” ways are actually what He’s always been doing! Israel didn’t mishear / misread the prophets… they missed the Heart behind the prophecy… the most powerful, transformative part of God’s message and promises.

Most of us don’t miss God because He’s unclear. We miss Him because we are attached to our preferred version of Him. When God answers your prayer in a way you didn’t ask for. When His goodness shows up disguised as disruption. When His rescue looks nothing like relief. That’s where to look for His answers to your prayers.

This 30-Day devotional series will help readers like you return home to a God who keeps coming close in unexpected ways.. Not your traditional fluffy Advent content. It starts later today right here where you’re reading this.

I just ask you to share any post in this series that moves your Spirit or touches you in a way that you think there is someone in your world that may need to hear it. As a writer, reacting to my content, sharing it to your people, saving it for later, sending it in directly to someone, and commenting is the biggest compliment and it’s an easy no-cost way for you to help me grow as a writer and grow my audience. It also helps my content actually be visible to the people I’m already connected to!

My prayer is that this series is a blessing to you.

Thank you so much!

MelAnn

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1 Chronicles 28:9 tells us that God searches our hearts & minds and knows our thoughts. In 1 Samuel 16:7, God tells Samuel He looks not at outward appearance, but at our hearts.

Good and evil is something that takes root in your heart. It motivates you & your actions. God knows your heart. You aren’t going to “accidentally” celebrate or promote or become an influencer for the “evil one” because you go trick or treating or put up Halloween decorations or attend a Halloween party.

Jesus has already conquered sin, death and Satan with his death & resurrection. We are already redeemed. Wearing a mask for a secular holiday is not going to jeopardize that. Why do we go around thinking that we have to follow a checklist of things that mankind has deemed worthy or not and trying to earn our redemption - as if it hasn’t taken place yet? As if we aren’t under the protection of our King already? Satan was left behind in the grave well over 2000 years ago. He may have some influence today - but only when we allow it / invite it / choose it. Satan is NOT to us like alcohol is to alcoholics. One little sip of Halloween punch isn’t going to doom our souls for all eternity.

Why do we have fear where we should have confidence?

Isaiah 54:17 CEV

Weapons made to attack you won’t be successful; words spoken against you won’t hurt at all… I, the Lord, promise to bless you with victory!”

For those of you who think that’s just a one time promise to Israel at that time for them to to take Jerusalem, let’s look at some other verses:

Romans 8:1 (TPT)

There remains no accusing voice of condemnation against those who are joined in life-union with Jesus, the Anointed One.

Eph 6:16 (TPT)

In every battle, take faith as your wrap-around shield, for it is able to extinguish the blazing arrows coming at you from the Evil One.

MT 24:13 (TPT)

“Keep our hope to the end and we will experience life & deliverance.”

God is bigger than ghostly ghouls in a mask, witches brew punch at a Halloween party or other halloween- themed activity… Therefore, my faith? It’s not threatened by a day on the calendar.

There is one notable item often associated with Halloween that can be extremely dangerous… any time of year: masks. Notably: the masks we hide behind. What we try to get people to see - that outward appearance that God sees straight through.

Some of us have been perfecting these masks for years. We’ve learned how to smile while crumbling inside. We do our best to appear strong when our knees are buckling. We boast about our faith-filled life even when our prayers have gone quiet or may even be questioning if God hears us - or even exists.

The world praises resilience, but rarely reveals what it costs to authentically live in resilience. Because most of us choose to perform something that is anything but authentic.

When I was in high school, I loved drama (the theater class and chorus musical - not life drama). I loved portraying a character and getting lost in it. Getting away with being someone I wasn’t and doing things I normally wouldn’t do. My first role in high school One Act Play was that of an eccentric old lady who took her imaginary poodles for a walk in a play called Make Mine Vanilla.

One of my most memorable roles was an old lady named Magna Carter (her name was a nod to the oldest document known to man at the time because she was about that OLD!) and the first night - due to a curtain mishap - I had to improvise some humor to bridge a gap. I had the audience rolling in laughter, gained new respect from my choir director (who told me to repeat it in future performances) and was unrecognizable to people in the audience who knew me well who didn’t realize that was even me! That musical was utterly and embarrassingly ridiculous - but I had fun - and it ended up being one of the most favorite memories in my lifetime.

Why? Because up unto that point, I had been living into labels & false meanings in my life. I was an introvert … and an extremely shy one at that. But there were people who took the time to meet and get to know me who would be surprised that anyone would refer to me as “shy.” Quiet and observant? Most definitely - but not “shy.” Just didn’t have much to add to already shallow and boring conversations usually. I got so good at being unheard / misunderstood in elementary school I almost became completely content at staying in that box, so to speak.

But Ms. Magna Carter and her comical interludes to entertain the audience between scene changes unleashed something in my life that has never been the same. Instead of acting a role to become another character, I got to truly be completely myself while disguising it as a performance. Ironic, huh?

First of all, I’m funny! Who knew! I completely ad libbed my scenes after that accidental opening scene that first night. All of my consumption of the Carol Burnet Show & listening to Robin Williams Night at the Met cassette tape on repeat paid off! Haha! It takes a special kind of comic genius to pull that off - and I had it!

My people-pleasing, permission-seeking tendencies went out the window. I didn’t worry about anything I was doing not being within any rules. Especially that first night! I followed no script and no rules and just had fun with it and made people laugh.

When my director came and stuck his head backstage afterward and yelled my name and said, “Do it again! What you did tonight! Do it again! That was gold!”

I didn’t want that role. I wanted one of the lead roles, of course. I was the only one in choir who had been in drama and One Act Play. So, when roles were announced and my name was not called I was pissed. I knew that the choir director was not my biggest fan; but not getting any lead roles? (They went to his favorites as usual.) My role was the LAST ROLE he announced. And when he announced it, he prefaced it to say that he type cast the role and there was only one person in the entire class that could pull off the role after he’d seen all of her previous work in the theater class in the previous years - and he announced my name. I didn’t even know at the time which character that was. When I read back through the script and realized she was the old lady secretary I thought to myself: “Great. I was type cast as an old maid!”

Looking back, I realize that the choir director was right. I was the one person in that class that could play that role. But neither of us knew just how that was going to play out - but he was confident that I was going to be able to deliver. That role seemed pretty insignificant. It took place in front of the curtain. Had little or no interaction with any other characters. It was to fill in the time it took to change the set. The play was ridiculous. Have I mentioned that already? We were doing a musical about aliens landing on a college campus while our rival 90 miles away was doing Grease.

Anyway, I digress.

The musical was ridiculous. So, my role - was challenging not only keeping scenes stitched together - but just keeping the whole thing from falling completely apart. I completely flipped the tables on the objective of my scenes. I made fun of the musical itself with tongue-in-cheek humor. I stated the obvious - answered a phone call and said “The Dean” No, he’s not in. He’s helping change the set for the next scene right now? He should be done in about two minutes though. Can I take a message?”

People didn’t recognize me while I knew I was more myself on that stage than I had been in my entire life - and it changed something within me. I never was the same after that… because I was more me. I think that’s why we really never outgrow playing dress up. Because sometimes it can unleash who we really are that we wouldn’t dare express out from behind the costume. We can always just point to “getting into character” and get away with it without feeling judged, vulnerable, etc.

However, somewhere along the way, I learned to become what was needed in the room: the calm one, the capable one, the funny one, the spiritual one, the advisor, the good girl, the teacher, and so on. Not that I’m not any of these things - but often people want the segmented part - leaving me feeling fragmented & not appreciated for my whole, wonderful self.

Each role also carried its own mask… with fragmented pieces that were also not me.

However, when life begins to unravel, the masks just don’t stay in place. Something often has to give. For me this year, I was carrying too much. And those masks suddenly became too heavy. They had to go.

• Wearing “I’m fine.” like armor.

• Wearing “I’ve got this.” like an idol.

• Wearing “I’ll figure it out.” like adlibbed scenes when we forgot the lines.

• Wearing “No problem.” like stage makeup.

• Wearing “God’s got it” as a cover for the ache you haven’t let Him touch yet.

These masks are just carry-on luggage at this point. Furthermore, they don’t take care of my family. These masks just don’t fit the dress code for this season in my life. They also don’t overcome the insurmountable obstacles this year that continue to drop in our path one after another after another:

• Kevin’s emergency leg amputation

• loss of income

• depleted savings

• sideswiped by a young driver destroying my driver’s side mirror

• hoodlums vandalized Kevin’s car

• both of our cars that need glass replaced

• my car needs new tires, brakes and some other things that need replaced and tuned up when a Toyota hits 60,000 miles

• grocery prices still not going down

• sprinkler system going haywire & not shutting off

• I can’t afford to add Mayc to insurance to get her to drive and help alleviate some of my driving/transportation issues so she’s still not driving

• me and the kids need to likely find new health, dental, & vision insurance (Kevin is now covered by the VA), our health insurance being dropped by most of our current providers in another money grab attempt in negotiating contracts

• just learned I now have a $1000+ dental bill (dental insurance decided not to cover what I had done back in May because somehow they got word to unenroll me while I was paying premiums for dental and vision all along (and government shutdown - I can’t even find the right person to help me figure that out because they aren’t at work right now and my regional contact passed away a few weeks ago)

• rough start with kiddo’s school and the new principal who luckily seems to have since chilled out

• government shutdown while we are trying to process federal medical retirement & VA rating processing, our main contact we’d been working with to prepare medical retirement stuff passed away a few weeks ago… so once the government opens up, we get to start over with someone new

• Kevin’s computer dying - followed by his backup computer dying

• My phone won’t take/make calls without dropping or having so much static I can’t be heard

• Kevin’s phone is now so old he can’t make/receive calls - he gets a message that says his phone is too old to work with the updated networks

• Insurance that previously said they’d pay for his prosthetic - now saying they won’t because Kevin is now with the VA - even though we had this prosthetic long before he got signed up with the VA. And it is impossible for us to get through to the insurance company - we tried and kept putting in a loop that ended us right back up to a medical provider line - not member - there is no one there - due to government shutdown - to help FED members with insurance matters.

… and if it’s up to me, there’s just no way through or out of it. The last straw for me this week was the prosthetic - it’s ‘nearly $20,000. There is no way we can pay for that. I’m about ready to hire an attorney and sue the federal government, BSA billing, and our insurance companies for pain and suffering they have heaped on top of everything else. I just can’t take anything more.

My mom has been such a blessing to us. We’ve also been blessed by other friends who’ve continued to show up in incredible ways. We are lucky to have my mom and other family & friends when others in our situation don’t have a mom like her in their lives. I don’t know how they do it. Especially given the ridiculousness going on in DC right now with the shutdown and benefits being stopped, etc.

So back to our situation.

None of my independence-themed masks can do what needs to be done. If not the masks, then what… or who? (Me! That’s who! Wait that’s not right … God … and however He utilizes Authentic Me )

I found myself typecast into a new role I never auditioned for: caregiver.

The joke in my family has always been that anyone who ended up relying on me to take care of them was out of luck because I am not a nurturing, caregiving type of person. As much as I am independent, I don’t enjoy other people depending on me. Yet, what we’ve learned this year is that I’m pretty good at it. Not only that, I enjoy it.

However, this really isn’t a surprise when you parallel it with coaching. The things that make me good at and love coaching & entrepreneurship are the things that crossed over and made me good at my caregiving role. There is more to caregiving than nurturing: constant, creative problem solving, research, communicating current issues, noticing patterns, protecting the patient, trying to make the money work, etc.

When life strips down your life’s rhythms, safety nets, and basically everything you’ve known, depended on & taken for granted for the last 20 years, it leaves you naked, bare & vulnerable. Here’s the thing when this happens: Something has to give: It will either be you or the things that no longer serve you. If you keep trying to clench your fists around those things like a toddler with her favorite toy, you will fail to experience what it’s truly like to surrender and allow God to infuse the gaps with blessings and gifts with perfect timing through friends, strangers, and family.

Honestly, it’s hard for me to surrender my independence, my “I’ve got this -where there’s a Mel, there’s a way. I’ll figure this out. I don’t need anyone to help.” parts of my identity. I am the first to admit that my independent spirit is ingrained into my identity. Used to, it was a source of pride. I finally realized, it was just in my way… or better yet, in God’s way. It’s no wonder that pride is addressed so often in Scripture. It was even harder to post on social media to friends and strangers that we need financial help (we still do by the way thanks to the government shutdown that stalled out medical retirement and VA rating processes.) I worry that people will judge us (or me) and think “why doesn’t she just get a job? (yeah like I haven’t been trying since May to find something around Kevin’s appointments, Mayc’s school & transportation needs - ask my daughter who has little schedule restrictions how hard that is in this market here! She did finally find something and it’s been an answer to prayer - not the toxic environments she’s encountered in the past. )

God keeps whispering to my soul that I need to be coaching - not looking for a job - that He has this in place for a time such as this… and He co-created with me a new system that does work around our schedule and can provide for our family without burning me out.. However, if I’m completely honest, in my mind - He’s gonna have to show up with supernatural marketing because every attempt I’ve made to launch something in the past has failed miserably. And a struggle for me is that I’m not confident that this time will be any different - except I trust God to show up with supernatural results. If He doesn’t, I don’t know what I will do. He knows my heart, my fears and my pre-determined devastation should this fail, too. This is my Plan Z. The history of Plans A-Y say that I will fail again. I just can’t take that again - not right now when we need it most. I have wrestled with God on this one… a lot.

However, God has shown up over and over this year leading us to exactly what we need. Had I not been willing to surrender - let go of my independence and pride, I never would have experienced His love, grace & supernatural presence & provision.

God never asked us to impress Him with our composure. He doesn’t anoint masks… He anoints who we are created in His Image. He doesn’t bless our performance… He blesses our surrendered presence. And then, when He removes what we’ve hidden behind, He’s not humiliating us… He’s healing us.

So, I want to circle back now to Halloween and the roles we play and the parts of ourselves that we are thrilled when we get to unleash that part of ourselves that we long to be without explanation, excuse, justification, or even permission to just be this part of ourselves.

We are not alone in this. In Scripture, Jacob wrestled with his own identity fragments. Peter was stripped of his denial and embraced in grace. Then we read the best description words can offer about what happens when God’s glory is unveiled to us in the story of Moses’ encounter on the mountain. I think that Peter would tell us that unmasking is a liberating homecoming.

Let’s find every way we can to integrate these parts of who we long to unleash into our worlds - confidently, unapologetically, and authentically - without the benefit of holidays or costumes or stages. We are not living a performance on a stage. There is no curtain. Nor is there a script. This is who we are living a life we were designed to live authentically - as ourselves - not as fragments, not according to others agendas or expectations that rob us of our God-given identities, purpose & mission.

The Mirror Practice

Stand before a mirror today. Look yourself in the eyes. Ask:

“What am I hiding behind?”

“Who do I become when I feel unsafe?”

“What truth have I been avoiding because it would make me too real?”

Then pray: “God, show me the face You see.”

Sit quietly and notice what rises… warmth, resistance, tears, peace… Whatever comes is welcome. This is where restoration begins.

You don’t have to fear being seen… you were designed for your reflection. The mirror doesn’t lie; it liberates. As every false layer falls away, what remains is what’s real… your masterpiece self, unveiled.

2 Corinthians 3:18 The Mirror App

Now, we all, with new understanding, see ourselves in him as in a mirror. The days of window-shopping are over. In him every face is unveiled. In gazing with wonder at the likeness of Elohim displayed in human form, we suddenly realize that we are looking into a mirror, where every feature of their image, articulated in the Lord, is reflected within us. The Spirit of the Lord engineers this radical transformation; we are led from an inferior mind-set to the revealed endorsement of our authentic identity. From the fading glory of our own doing, to the discovery of the most amazing reality, that we are God’s glorious masterpiece!

Phil 1:6 The Message

There has never been the slightest doubt in my mind that the God who started this great work in you would keep at it and bring it to a flourishing finish on the very day Christ Jesus appears.

Normally I would end here - set up a paywall and everything behind this would be for paid subscribers. However, I’ve turned the paid tier off and I’m offering a free preview of what will be coming for paid tier subscribers - a peak at the benefits of the expanded journey offered to you as members below. Enjoy!

Live ignited❤️‍🔥!

MelAnn

The Masks We Wear

A Mirror & Masterpiece Deep-Dive Reflection: A 4-Phase Journey to Release False Identities and Reclaim Divine Design

“For now we see but a faint reflection of riddles and mysteries as though reflected in a mirror, but one day we will see face-to-face. My understanding is incomplete now, but one day I will understand everything, just as everything about me has been fully understood.” 1 Corinthians 13:12 (TPT)

THE ART OF UNMASKING

We were taught to wear strength like a costume… smiles like makeup, confidence like armor, and politeness like proof that we’re fine. But what happens when the mask begins to crack? When the roles no longer fit, the lines no longer comfort, and the reflection no longer feels like home?

This is not a lesson in losing yourself… it’s an invitation to rediscover who God designed beneath every disguise. This is not about becoming someone new. It’s about uncovering the masterpiece that’s been buried under our attempts at maintenance of what others see or our attempt to control outcomes..

Masks aren’t always lies. Sometimes… they’re necessary for survival. But God is calling you from survival into sacred identity.

At first, the costumes, makeup, armor and masks saved you. They helped you navigate unpredictable rooms, survive impossible seasons, and hold it together when life didn’t. But survival habits make terrible soul companions. They protect your image while starving your essence.

This is the work of unmasking… not as rebellion, but as realignment. It’s where psychology meets spirituality, where identity reconstruction meets divine remembrance. Here, we don’t chase change. We consecrate clarity.

You’ll learn to:

• Identify the masks that once served but now suppress your calling

• Trace the emotional and spiritual payoff behind each one

• Release the false identities without self-shame

• Rebuild from truth — body, mind, heart, and soul — with God at the helm

THE MIND: The Mask of Control

“Trust in the Lord completely, and do not rely on your own opinions. With all your heart, rely on him to guide you, and he will lead you in every decision you make. Become intimate with him in whatever you do, and he will lead you wherever you go. Don’t think for a moment that you know it all,.” Proverbs 3:5, 6 (TPT)

We wear the mask of control when chaos feels threatening. We overthink, over-plan, overdo… not that we don’t trust God, but because we don’t feel safe letting go. Control is often just fear wearing competence. We clutch the wheel because we mistake mastery for safety.

But control is counterfeit peace… it quiets the chaos by drowning out trust.

Reflection / Journaling Prompts:

1. What do I try to control when I feel powerless?

2. Where am I confusing perfection for peace?

3. What situations activate my need to fix or manage outcomes?

4. Where has my intelligence become interference with God’s instruction?

5. When was the last time I confused over-preparation with obedience?

Unmasking:

🕊 Write down three areas where you’ve been trying to “manage outcomes.”

Cross out each one and write instead: “My surrender to God’s presence is my plan.”

THE BODY: The Mask of Busyness

“Surrender your anxiety! Be silent and stop your striving and you will see that I am God..” Psalm 46:10 (TPT)

Our bodies keep the score… and sometimes the disguise. When we can’t say no with our voice, we say it through exhaustion. When we won’t stop moving, it’s often because we’re afraid of what silence will reveal.

Our busyness is the socially acceptable mask for avoidance. We call it productivity, but often it’s protection… from pain, from reflection, from slowing long enough to feel.

Insight for consideration:

Movement isn’t always momentum. Sometimes it’s resistance disguised as progress.

Reflection Prompts

1. What emotions surface when I stop being productive?

2. How do I measure worth through output?

3. Where is exhaustion secretly pride in disguise?

4. What role does busyness play in my sense of worth?

5. How does my body tell me when I’ve crossed from purpose into people-pleasing?

6. Where might fatigue be masking my fear of something?

Unmasking

🕯 Choose one day this week to move slower on purpose… with intention.

Notice how your body responds… tension, relief, guilt, gratitude.

Journal what surfaces in stillness.

Prayer

Lord, teach me the rhythm of rest. Help my body remember what peace feels like.

THE HEART: The Mask of People-Pleasing

“God is my complete persuasion. I answer to him alone, not anyone else. Christ employs me; I am addicted to his grace. Popular religious opinion will not influence me to compromise my message.” Galatians 1:10 (The Mirror)

The mask of approval is soft and shiny… It wins applause, but costs us our authenticity. When we live for harmony, we often trade our truth for acceptance.

Approval feels like belonging until you realize it’s rented. The heart that over-functions for love eventually forgets what love feels like.

Insight for Consideration

People-pleasing is emotional outsourcing… handing others the pen to narrate your worth.

Reflection Prompts

1. Whose validation feels essential to my peace? Whose opinion have I been protecting more than my peace?

2. What fear surfaces when I imagine disappointing them?

3. How has my kindness become currency for acceptance?

4. What am I afraid will happen if I disappoint someone?

5. How does my heart hide its needs behind helpfulness?

Unmasking

💌 Write a letter to yourself from God’s perspective.

Let it begin with, “You don’t have to prove your goodness to earn My love.”

Prayer

Lord, free me from false peace. Help me love honestly and rest in Your approval.

THE SOUL: The Mask of Strength

“Finally, it dawned on me that grace is God’s language; he doesn’t speak thorn-language. He said to me, My grace elevates you, to be fully content. And now, instead of being overwhelmed with a sense of my own weakness, he overwhelms me with an awareness of his strength. Oh what bliss to rejoice in the fact that in the midst of my frailties I encounter the dynamic of the grace of God to be my habitation.” 2 Corinthians 12:9 (The Mirror)

The mask of strength is often the hardest to remove. We wear it because breaking feels dangerous. But your soul was not meant to express resilience in strength… it was made to receive redemption & all of God’s blessings that come with it.

Strength is sacred… until it becomes self-sufficiency. We hide behind our own capability because vulnerability feels like risk. But divine strength begins where human certainty ends.

Reflection Prompts

1. Where have I equated weakness with failure?

2. What role do I play that prevents me from receiving care?

3. What am I hiding behind the statement “I’m fine”?

4. Where have I mistaken survival for strength?

5. What might happen if I allowed God to meet me in the middle of my mess, not after I’ve cleaned it up?

Unmasking

🔥 Write down the roles you’ve carried (“the strong one,” “the helper,” “the problem-solver”).

Lay your hand over the list and pray:

“Lord, strip away what isn’t mine to carry. Rebuild me with what is holy, humble, and whole.”

CLOSING SECTION: THE REVEAL

God doesn’t dismantle the mask to shame you — He dismantles it to show you the reflection beneath it. Unmasking is both confrontation and communion: the moment truth and tenderness meet face-to-face.

Identity Integration Exercise

Draw two overlapping circles — one labeled “Who I Pretend to Be”, the other “Who God Says I Am.”

In the overlap, write the traits that are still true, still holy, still you.

This is your bridge from pretending / hiding to presence.

You were never the mask. You were the miracle beneath it… seen, selected, and sustained. You don’t become someone new when the mask comes off… you become visible… seen.

Unmasking isn’t about shame; it’s about sight. God’s gaze has never been fooled. And when you finally see yourself the way He always has… radiant, real, redeemed… you realize the mask was never your protection. His presence was.

We are designed for healing - God gave us access to our own healing through a variety of modalities. And it is in this arena that we are exploring this week in the Healing Blueprint Summit!

Please join us starting today for the Healing Blueprint Summit. We have the opening ceremony at 1:00 PM CST followed by Kari Lynn’s Anointed Care: Building Your First Aid Kit of Essential Oils. I got to interview my friend Kari for this one and I’m so thrilled that she agree to be apart of this!

The summit will go through the 28th. The schedule is below. I’d love to have you.

Note: This particular event & group is designed for women this go around.

I have a lot of new things coming up - two new podcasts about to drop, my new book released, and much more! It all starts here with the summit & this fantastic lineup of speakers!

“Discover creative ways to encourage others and to motivate them toward acts of compassion, doing beautiful works as expressions of love. This is not the time to pull away and neglect meeting together, as some have formed the habit of doing, because we need each other! In fact, we should come together even more frequently, eager to encourage and urge each other onward as we anticipate that day dawning.” - Hebrews 10: 24, 25 TPT

The summit is just one creative way I hope to encourage & motivate you for this next season.

Live Ignited! ❤️‍🔥

MelAnn

Grab Your Seat for the Summit

Join the fb Community

“The plants look up to heaven, from whence they have their nourishment.”

—William Shakespeare

Observation

I came across a reel recently from a functional medicine neurology chiropractor talking about the surge in anxiety among kids, teens, and young adults. His perspective: Underdeveloped vestibular systems. But as he explained the signs and how he works with these kids, a lightbulb went off.

What is this generation doing—on repeat—from toddlerhood that no previous generation did?

They’re looking down.

At tablets. At phones. At screens.

This constant downward gaze, I believe, is the root of what’s being labeled a “vestibular disorder.” (My daughter included.)

What was this practitioner doing to help? He was inviting the body to look up… literally. Laying kids backward over an exercise ball, lifting the chin, reorienting the head and neck upward.

I started digging into the relationship between the vestibular system and the vagus nerve. Sure enough, the connection is real and complex. But what struck me was this: what he’s really doing, whether he knows it or not, is retraining the vagus nerve. The habit of looking down is not just physical posture… it’s nervous system posture. And it’s shaping development in ways we can’t afford to ignore.

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Story

When I was 15, my grandfather was hospitalized with double pneumonia and emphysema. His organs were shutting down, and we were told to prepare for goodbye. I chose not to go into his hospital room. I’d heard from a friend how haunting it was to see a loved one for the last time hooked up to machines… I did NOT want that to be my final memory.

But here’s the twist: it wasn’t his time. Away from cigarettes and immersed in round-the-clock care, his body began to heal. His organs recovered. The doctors were stunned. We had another beautiful few years with him… smoke-free, with a new love for chocolate turtles.

That experience planted something in me: the deep knowing that our bodies are designed to heal when given the right environment. God made us with extraordinary capacity… and surrounded us with a natural world designed to support that healing. So, when I found the certification in working with the nervous system, it felt less like a new discovery and more like a divine breadcrumb I was always meant to find.

A Word (or Two)

“Lift up your eyes to the sky and see for yourself…”

—Isaiah 40:26 TPT

When God led the Israelites out of Egypt, He used a cloud and fire in the sky - not a trail on the ground. We weren’t made with eyes on our toes. We were designed to look up.

To seek.

To worship.

To follow.

The act of looking down constantly… at screens, at devices… does more than curve our posture. It curves our soul inward. It cues the body into a stress response. Over time, it shapes the very function of our nervous system. Looking down becomes default. Looking up becomes foreign.

“I lift my eyes to you…” Psalm 123:1 NLT

Yes! We were made for … looking up!

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A Movement

Today’s movement is as simple as it is sacred:

Look up.

In your morning rhythm, try this:

1. Stand tall.

2. Stretch your arms overhead. (Optional: clasp your hands to deepen the stretch.)

3. Gently lift your eyes and head… without overextending… just enough to orient upward.
   
   Hold for 30 seconds. Breathe.

Identity Signal

When we look up, we send a message to the world that we are present & at attention. We aren’t hiding or looking down in shame. We signal confidence in who we are and where we are going and who we are in the room with. We have nothing to hide. We are here for it - whatever it is.

A Reflection

Instead of going inward with closed eyes today, I invite you to go outward. Literally.

1. Step outside—or to a window. Even a hallway will do.

2. Notice your default gaze. Where do your eyes fall?

3. Ask God to guide your gaze today—to what He wants you to see.

4. Now, look up.

Now, Journal:

What shifts?

What do you see with new eyes?

Leave a comment

A Closing Word

“See yourselves co-raised with Christ. Now ponder with persuasion the consequence of your co-inclusion in him. Relocate yourselves mentally. Engage your thoughts with throne room realities where you are co-seated with Christ in the executive authority of God’s right hand. Becoming affectionately acquainted with throne room thoughts will keep you from being distracted again by the earthly realm.” - Colossians 3:1,2 The Mirror

To look up is to realign. It repositions us… spirit, body, and nervous system.

Looking down distracts. Looking up acquaints.

Two different directions. Two different states of being.

Let’s stop letting our phones write our postures - and direct our nervous system.

Let’s return to our original Divine design.

Look up.

A Song

🎶 “Look Up, Child” by Lauren Daigle

Always in your corner,

MelAnn

Identity & nervous system strategist utilizing God’s blueprint for healing & Kingdom identity . I teach my clients how to stimulate the "rest and digest" nervous system to escape the "fight or flight" mode our world's hustle tries to keep us in and step confidently into who created them to be.

We were created for Eden - let’s keep our nervous system there even if we can’t be.

If someone came to mind while reading this, forward it to them as a reminder to look up too.

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An Invitation

Explore what a nervous system can do for you through simple movement - 1 movment for 3 minutes.

I'd Like to Learn More

Community

Please join my FREE community on fB - you will find lots of companion content in the community that goes along side content here at The Phoenix Whisperer.

SoulScript fB

And finally, if you haven’t yet subscribed, please do that. This week you are getting a glimpse of what the paid tier subscription will include. If you’d like to continue getting the entire format, please consider becoming a paid tier subscriber!

Subscribe now

Share the Phoenix Whisperer | Story Wellness

“You’ve gone into my future to prepare the way,
and in kindness you follow behind me
to spare me from the harm of my past.
With your hand of love upon my life,
you impart a blessing to me.” -Ps 139:5 (TPT)

Late last year, I was brainstorming with ChatGPT to find my word of the year for 2025. I thought I was chasing something about leverage… about maximizing impact and momentum. But what surfaced instead was a Hebrew word I couldn’t shake:

Barak (בָּרַךְ) – To bless, elevate, or empower, reflecting the energy of maximizing impact.

It struck something deep within me. And unlike previous years, I didn’t try to define it too tightly. I sensed I was meant to leave it open-ended - more invitation less directive. Not to control what it would mean for me, but to trust the unfolding.

I had no idea that just weeks later, on February 11th, our world would turn completely upside down.

To say this one massive event - made up of hundreds of tiny ones - changed me at my core is an understatement.

But now, as I hold this word up to the light of what we’ve lived through so far, I see it: the thread of blessing, the sacred elevation, the empowerment that doesn’t always come wrapped in comfort. I see the wisdom of God woven through the chaos.

In Opening Prayers, you read how I asked God to send reminders of His constant Presence - to show up for us daily. And He has answered that prayer in a resounding affirmative!

In those first chaotic days after Kevin’s emergency amputation, doctors told us plainly: had I not insisted he seek care when I did, he wouldn’t have survived. I can’t explain it, except to say something overtook me that Monday. It was the Holy Spirit. I felt the urgency like a flood.

When the ER doctor couldn’t get a surgeon to respond, God brought an infectious disease doctor - who wasn’t even supposed to be there - into our orbit. He laid eyes on Kevin’s foot, knew exactly which off-duty surgeon to call, and that call set everything in motion to save Kevin’s life.

Even before that, God was preparing me. After the trauma we experienced the year before at that same hospital, I had done deep healing work through ART (Accelerated Resolution Therapy). Without it, I’m certain we would’ve walked out and gone home that day - and Kevin wouldn’t be here.

But instead, we stayed. At the one hospital with one open bed. The one with the right ER doctor. The right infectious disease specialist. The right surgeon. The inpatient rehab team that somehow had one spot open, even with a long waiting list. The best wound care doctor in town. A home health company referred by a friend on social media. Over and over again: provision.

Our surgeon? Humble. Spirit-led. He told us, “I’m just the hands.” And I believe that.

God has provided people, meals, groceries, bills paid, money in our account, a prom ticket, a summer camp registration. Texts. Mailbox blessings. Unexpected door-knocks. Daily manna.

And you - yes, you - have been His vessels.

Your words have spoken life into our souls. Your prayers have carried us. Your hands, your hearts, your presence have been His way of saying, “I’m still here. I’ve got you.”

We are unspeakably humbled. Eternally grateful.

A simple “thank you” just doesn’t seem adequate. But it’s what I have. So..

Thank you!

Mel

Previous Post: 153

Free / Pay What You Want - Mini-SoulScript Session: God Never Fails Us. (If you worry a lot or experience anxiety, this most certainly is meant for you! )

God Never Fails Us

A number associated in the Bible of God’s power and provision in John 21:

Jesus also appeared to the disciples at the sea of Tiberias in the following incident:

Simon Peter and Thomas the twin, Nathaniel from Cana in Galilee, the Zebedee brothers and two of the other disciples were together. It was Simon’s idea to go fishing, so they joined him and got into a boat and spent the night trying, but caught nothing.

By daybreak Jesus was waiting for them at the shore but they did not recognize him.

Jesus asked them, Lads, haven’t you got anything to eat? They said, Nope.

Then he told them to cast the net on the right side of the boat and they will definitely find some; so they did and took so many fish that they were unable to haul them in.

Then the disciple whom Jesus was so fond of said to Peter, It is the Lord. When Simon Peter heard that it was the Lord, he girded his outer garment around him since he was naked, and promptly jumped into the water.

The other disciples dragged the net full of fish with a little boat. They were only about 100 yards from the shore. When they got out of the boat they were surprised to see a coal fire with fried fish and bread on it.

Jesus suggested that they also bring some of the fish they had just caught.

Simon Peter joined them and pulled the net ashore; they counted 153 large fish, and the net didn’t even tear.

John 21: 1-11 Mirror Bible

Afterwards, they sat around a campfire where Jesus cooked fish and they had another sort of last supper before his ascension.

Can you imagine such a catch and then a celebratory campfire feast on the beach with Jesus our Savior?

If you haven’t read it yet, be sure to check out my previous post, Opening Prayers to catch up so what follows below makes a little more sense.

When I’ve been asked about my specific goals when numbers are concerned, my answer normally contains the number 153 and I normally get a reply to the tune of “That’s.. Uh…. oddly specific.”

I know, right?

I’ve done the math and it’s specific indeed.

I just want to put this out here because there are people in my world who just want the bottom line and I will be transparent here: It is on me for the next 2-3 months to support my family. This is not just living expenses, but covering insurance premiums while Kevin is off of work, ongoing medical bills, 30% of the cost of his prosthetic which we don’t even know what that is going to be yet - but it’s not going to be cheap - we know that and we also know we don’t have the money for it. So these are my goals.

153 monthly subscribers at $9 a month. I feel like this is extremely doable and an easy way for people to help support us that haven’t felt like they could support us and make a difference. Collectively, this makes a huge difference. This would pay for our living expenses.

153 annual subscribers at $97 a year. This is also extremely doable for many people. So, I don’t think this is a far reaching goal either. When we meet this goal, this pays for our current medical expenses and obligations and likely the prosthetic as well. My car also needs repairs from being side-swiped by an uninsured driver and brakes need to be replaced. If we met this goal - this would be life changing for us and ease a huge burden!

And on the subscriptions you get something in return! You can see the details of that here.

And all you do is subscribe and upgrade to the paid tier & choose your option.

Subscribe now

But there are still those who don’t really want anything in return or want to subscribe to anything and want to help in other ways so I set up a “Not-So-Square Fundraiser” Adopt a rectangle - or however many you wish - and send the equivalent to Venmo. The * are wild card amounts that are over 153. Help us fill up all the squares and this will fill in the gaps of any unforeseen / unexpected expenses - or where we might fall short on subscriber goals. I will try to remember to update this image as the spots begin to fill in!

This isn’t easy for me. If you know me, I don’t even like asking for money for my work! I never have - much to the exasperation of my coaches in the past. But since I’ve been asked - this is how people can help us financially. Now, if you want to wait and see the specifics of what the membership will entail and other offers that are coming up with the nervous system reset support (which is in addition to this), SoulScript Studio, etc, you are welcome to wait to hear more on that. I also have one surprise for the paid tier subscribers I haven’t mentioned yet!

However, if there is absolutely no way for you to help financially, there are other ways you can help. Engage with my posts on Substack, in the Notes and other social media feeds and share across your platforms - help me grow my audience! That is super important to my success as well. Organic growth is priceless! I appreciate you just the same as those who can help us financially. I’m so blessed to have you all here for this chapter of my story!

Love to you in this chapter,

MelAnn

God.

(a long pause)

I don’t know what to pray for right now.

(another pause… this one heavier)

But I do know you’re in control of the outcome… and none of the possible outcomes feel like something I want to pray for.

If he’s going to die on this journey, then God, spare him the suffering. Take him quickly.

If he’s going to lose his leg, then guide the surgeon to take it now… don’t drag it out.

If all he needs is a wound clean-out, then let it be enough. Let it be complete. Let it be now.

Truly, the only thing I’m asking in this moment is for you to be near.

Let your presence be constant. Let the reminders of your mercy echo through every hallway we walk in the year ahead.

Go before us. Work out the details. Please.

This was the prayer I whispered… alone… at 1:45 a.m. on February 11, 2025. Ironically, my late father’s birthday whose life was one prominent with Type 1 Diabetes. This synchronicity was not lost on me… Continue reading below…

To see all of the series from this journey, go to the Hopportunities & Holy Ground page:

The ER had become a battlefield.

With an immediate admission with a blood sugar of 425 and a first time diagnosis of type 2 diabetes, system after system in Kevin’s body began to fail. The ER doctor on duty was visibly frustrated… no surgeon or specialist on call would come evaluate the wound. Eventually, a disease specialist was pulled in from another ER case, who told him to try a specific trauma surgeon. Two had already refused. But he suggested a third… someone not even on call. The ER doctor took photos of Kevin’s foot and sent it to that surgeon’s personal phone.

That surgeon didn’t wait. He called the OR directly from home and told them to prep the OR. As we were being told Kevin was finally going to be admitted to a regular room, two OR nurses in scrubs appeared. “We’re here to take him.”

It happened so slow & then so fast.

Everyone I knew was asleep. No time to call anyone. No one to sit with me.

We got to the OR, and only then did the surgeon explain the stakes.
His job wasn’t to save the foot… it was to save Kevin’s life.

Kevin wasn’t processing any of it. He looked at me. The surgeon asked for consent. I said yes. He gives consent.

I was ushered to a waiting room. No instructions. No updates.

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Google and God my only companions

I remembered my daughter’s surgery the year before… how she had a number on the board. But now, there was only one surgery listed. So, I didn’t need the id number they had forgotten to give me.

I didn’t ask how long it would take, so I Googled: Thirty minutes for a wound clean-out. Past 45? It meant amputation.

When the surgeon walked around the corner, I already knew. His posture said everything. He had done everything he could. But he couldn’t save the leg.
And I thanked him… because he saved Kevin’s life.

God answered that prayer. Not with a maybe. Not with a delayed heartbreak. But with clarity. No dragging out what was inevitable. No false hope. Just mercy. In the middle of the unthinkable.

The surgeon left, and I stood there… lost. Numb.

What now?

There were no instructions. I had missed a call … the voicemail from the OR saying Kevin had been moved to his room. So I headed upstairs. He was already there. Tucked in a tiny room. Awake. Confused.

I had no idea what the coming weeks would hold. But I knew I needed to rest while I could. So I went home, laid down, and hoped I’d find the right words to tell the kids.

What I do know… what I knew that night and what I’ve witnessed every single day since… is this:

God has been with us.
In the chaos. In the quiet.
In the unexpected. In the unfolding.

Our Waymaker.
Still writing the story.
Still showing up in the thick of it.

Kevin has been unable to return to work and they won’t allow him to return to work until he gets his prosthetic or they force him into medical retirement whichever comes first - so we are in a race to that finish line. When you support this publication, you help support our journey and the ongoing expenses. I am full time caregiver and transportation for all of my family members at the moment. Please consider subscribing / upgrading your subscription to the paid tier for just $9 a month.

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🧐 When was the last time you let yourself be truly silly? Not polished. Not productive. Just… playful. The kind of joy that makes you squeal with delight, like when you were a kid. Was it dancing in the rain? Building a fort? Laughing until your stomach hurt? That version of you still exists—she’s just waiting for an invitation. 💛

Today, let’s make space for mischief and merriment:

🎶 Put on a song and dance like nobody’s watching (because, honestly, they’re probably scrolling TikTok).

🎨 Doodle something ridiculous in the margins of your notebook.

📞 Call a friend and share the weirdest, most random story you can think of. Because play isn’t frivolous—it’s fuel.

🔥 And here’s the science-y part: PLAY is a game-changer for your nervous system. It’s the fastest way to shift your energy & find balance again. So, if you’ve been feeling stuck, anxious, or overwhelmed… maybe it’s not another to-do list you need. Maybe it’s a good, old-fashioned belly laugh.

I hope your day is filled with unexpected joy and laughter!

Until next time,

MelAnn

🎉 Want to go even deeper? Take my FREE Discovery Quiz to get clear on what’s been keeping you stuck—and how to shift into your best energy. ⬇️

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Tell me—what’s one playful thing you’re doing today? Drop it in the comments! 👇😂

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